I had an epiphany when I commented on a Facebook post by a friend; which was this rather lengthy article-
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/?single_page=true.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/?single_page=true.
I
realized I certainly feel like I have "seen it all!,"having been in 2 very
different work cultures before moving on to making my own. I've seen
working single mothers struggle on their own, and other working mothers struggle
despite having family and other help around,
for various reasons. (From foundation-shaking divorces, rebellious kids, unavailable/unwilling parents, MILs who demand their 10-hr-job handling DILs do the family cooking, though they can perfectly well afford a cook, to life-force sucking commutes, incompetent maids and nannies, unavailable spouses to schizophrenic FIL- so there.)
The only way to make it work is by keeping your "All" elastic and adjusting your sails to the wind. The "all" should be a personal choice, made up of what you are willing to give up and what you cannot compromise on, and finding ways to negotiate yourself a better deal...no matter whatever situation you find yourself in. Nothing is ever absolute or constant. Your perceived "all" at 25 has got to be different from your "all" at 35, and 65! Your "all" is YOUR "all," not your best friend's or your cousin's or your high school competitor's or your co-workers. It is the sum of your unique abilities and demons, the customized curve-balls your life has thrown at you. A big chunk of my personal "all" is not just the good experiences but every single bump or hill in the road that has shaped who I am today. There were times when I felt like I had it all, yes, and we know all good things come to an end. So what do you do then? You just pace yourself, but keep going, till you reach the next phase in your life where you have it "all" again. It will be a different all but you will be a different person by then.
Some women in the article said they can't find a role model. Maybe they're not looking in the right place. For that matter, why need a role model? I believe there is something you can learn from every single person you meet in life; man or woman. You can learn things just by shutting out the noise and listening to your own heart. I believe that when you come up against a wall, you find ways to climb over it, dig underneath it, walk parallel to it to find a crack to butt your head against, or if nothing works, set up camp right next to it and enjoy the stay till, perhaps, a break comes from the OTHER side.
Its the same thing, in different words-quoting the article below-
Along the way, women should think about the climb to leadership not in terms of a straight upward slope, but as irregular stair steps, with periodic plateaus (and even dips) when they turn down promotions to remain in a job that works for their family situation; when they leave high-powered jobs and spend a year or two at home on a reduced schedule; or when they step off a conventional professional track to take a consulting position or project-based work for a number of years. I think of these plateaus as “investment intervals.”
The only way to make it work is by keeping your "All" elastic and adjusting your sails to the wind. The "all" should be a personal choice, made up of what you are willing to give up and what you cannot compromise on, and finding ways to negotiate yourself a better deal...no matter whatever situation you find yourself in. Nothing is ever absolute or constant. Your perceived "all" at 25 has got to be different from your "all" at 35, and 65! Your "all" is YOUR "all," not your best friend's or your cousin's or your high school competitor's or your co-workers. It is the sum of your unique abilities and demons, the customized curve-balls your life has thrown at you. A big chunk of my personal "all" is not just the good experiences but every single bump or hill in the road that has shaped who I am today. There were times when I felt like I had it all, yes, and we know all good things come to an end. So what do you do then? You just pace yourself, but keep going, till you reach the next phase in your life where you have it "all" again. It will be a different all but you will be a different person by then.
Some women in the article said they can't find a role model. Maybe they're not looking in the right place. For that matter, why need a role model? I believe there is something you can learn from every single person you meet in life; man or woman. You can learn things just by shutting out the noise and listening to your own heart. I believe that when you come up against a wall, you find ways to climb over it, dig underneath it, walk parallel to it to find a crack to butt your head against, or if nothing works, set up camp right next to it and enjoy the stay till, perhaps, a break comes from the OTHER side.
Its the same thing, in different words-quoting the article below-
Along the way, women should think about the climb to leadership not in terms of a straight upward slope, but as irregular stair steps, with periodic plateaus (and even dips) when they turn down promotions to remain in a job that works for their family situation; when they leave high-powered jobs and spend a year or two at home on a reduced schedule; or when they step off a conventional professional track to take a consulting position or project-based work for a number of years. I think of these plateaus as “investment intervals.”
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